


Beautiful Accident

by Spriingflower



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I promise, Kind of a slowburn, M/M, Mutual Pining, maybe a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 10:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13855860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spriingflower/pseuds/Spriingflower
Summary: The eighteen times Jongdae almost kissed Kim Junmyeon and the one time he actually did.





	1. The chances we missed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cozyrosy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cozyrosy/gifts).



> This was written as a birthday gift for a friend and I love her and I hope she's having the best day today and I'm so happy that she is friends with me even though I'm awkward <.<

Jongdae first met Kim Junmyeon when he entered high school. Junmyeon was one year above Jongdae and basically everything that Jongdae wasn't. Smart, a good student, adored by his teachers and fellow students alike and, to top it all, a member of the student council. Jongdae, on the other hand, was maybe not an idiot but certainly also not on the top of his class, way too loud and a bit of a troublemaker. Not because he really wanted to but because he just had this tendency of getting into trouble. Even if he was just casually minding his own business he would somehow end up getting into trouble one way or another. He was never really looking for trouble but it always found him. Not that Jongdae really minded. Because he had run into Junmyeon in quite the same way in which he usually ran into trouble.

***

It was Jongdae's second week of school and he was already late for class. Not late as in too late but late as in class was starting in less than a minute and he was still at the entrance of the school hastily trying to take off his outdoor shoes and slip into the annoying school slippers. They were not really designed for running – running in the hall not  being permitted either way – but they would have to do because there was no way Jongdae was going to be too late for his first lesson. Jongdae knew that the elderly math teacher he had his first lesson with still had a "magic wand" – or at least that is how he liked to refer to the disciplinary stick on the wall – and although Jongdae had never seen him use it he had heard rumours that he didn't want to try proving true.

So he ran despite the slippers and despite the school rules that didn't permit it. Sometimes one just had to break the rules for the greater good. And in retrospect breaking the rules that particular morning might have been one of the best things Jongdae had ever done.

"No running in the halls", a voice called out to Jongdae right as he was turning the corner that led to the hallway with his classroom. He turned his head to see where the voice came from and in the same moment lost his footing. He stumbled, his hands flailing around in an attempt to find something to hold onto but only grabbed air and the next moment his hands and knees hit the floor. Behind him he heard hurried steps, probably the person that had told him to slow down just know and a smirk crept up on Jongdae's lips.  _Look who's running in the halls now._ But as soon as he turned around to face whoever caused his fall the smile disappeared.

The boy was simply gorgeous. Dark brown almost black hair that seemed a little ruffled and curly, it was hard to tell whether he woke up with his hair like that or if he spent hours getting it to look so perfectly effortless. His eyes were much the same colour as his hair and at that moment they were looking down at Jongdae with a somewhat worried expression. But what caught Jongdae's eye the most was not the way he looked at him, not how he looked so perfect in that school uniform that Jongdae hated, it were his lips. They were neither particularly plush nor thin but they just looked so damn kissable. Never in his life did Jongdae want to kiss a person so bad and he didn't even know his name yet.

"Are you alright?", the boy asked. Jongdae quickly got up from the floor again, tried to dust off his pants and probably only rubbed the dirt into the fabric even more before he gave the stranger a smile.

"I think I just fell for you", Jongdae said, only half-joking. The other boy just rolled his eyes.

"You're late for class, hurry up, but no running", the boy reminded Jongdae with a stern voice before he turned around and walked down the hallway in the other direction, probably headed to his own class.

Jongdae stared at him for a moment. He had always been quick to fall for someone, although most of these crushes had been very short lived. But the world was just filled with beautiful people, boys and girls alike so Jongdae couldn't really help it. His parents had probably thought sending him to an all-boys-school would keep him from becoming distracted too much. Jongdae decided that it was probably for the best to not tell them just how wrong they had been.

***

After that first encounter Jongdae and Junmyeon just kind of kept running into each other. By now Jongdae had learned his name through asking around and with his name also came a bunch of gossip rumours and maybe a few actually useful information. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference. Some of Jongdae's classmates seemed to look up to Junmyeon, calling him a hard-working student and overall nice person while others seemed less fond of him, telling Jongdae that Junmyeon was a teacher's pet, stuck up and that he took himself too seriously.

From the times that Jongdae had run into Junmyeon, he had determined that neither side was really fully right but both kind of had a point.

Most of the time Jongdae and Junmyeon ran into each other at school, sometimes Jongdae greeted him and sometimes Junmyeon greeted him back, always acting somewhat reserved, only giving him a small nod, sometimes even a smile when Jongdae was lucky, but that was usually where their interactions ended. They never stopped to talk, at least not at school.

But somehow they also kept meeting coincidentally out of school. Jongdae had never been one to believe in fate or soulmates but the way they kept running into each other had an air of destiny to it. Even though Jongdae didn't dare call it that yet.

There was one particular encounter that he liked to remember. The first time they ran into each other out of school. The first time he saw Junmyeon without his school uniform. Jongdae had spent some time thinking about how Junmyeon would dress casually and he had come to the conclusion that Junmyeon was the type who wore perfectly flattened button-up shirts and plain trousers. Jongdae could not have been more wrong.

They stumbled into each other at the supermarket on one of there free Saturday afternoons, Jongdae's mother had sent him grocery shopping for dinner and maybe Junmyeon's mother had done the same. When Jongdae spotted him Junmyeon was inspecting a carton of eggs. On first sight, Jongdae had almost not recognised him. He wore somewhat washed out jeans that were slightly ripped at his knees together with a plain white shirt that complimented his arms. Jongdae hadn't noticed Junmyeon's muscles before and at that moment he almost felt stupid for it. As if Junmyeon felt the stares on him he turned around. When he spotted Jongdae he smiled and walked towards him.

"Hey, you're that kid from school right? The one that was running in the halls?", he asked. Jongdae nodded slightly before he introduced himself properly.

"I'm Kim Jongdae, I'm a first year and I didn't want to be late for class", he explained, reaching out his hand. Did teenagers even introduce themselves like that? Suddenly everything he did felt so awkward. But Junmyeon grabbed the hand firmly and shook it with a smile.

"Kim Junmyeon and you really should be careful, I wouldn't want you to fall for anyone else", he replied with the slightest hint of a smirk on his beautiful lips. While Jongdae was still to perplex to reply anything Junmyeon picked up the carton of eggs again and went towards the register. Like the first time they met, Jongdae stared after him with only two thoughts in his mind. Number one was his sudden desire to kiss Junmyeon. And the second was a question. A question that Jongdae knew the answer to already. Did Kim Junmyeon just flirt with him?

Yes, yes he probably did.

God, he really should have kissed him.

***

Jongdae didn't even notice that their school had flowers at the gates until he first saw Junmyeon water them one day. It was still early, the sun hadn't even fully risen yet and actually, it was a bit of a miracle that Jongdae was even up already. And maybe it was destiny.

"Do you like flowers?", Jongdae asked, stopping behind Junmyeon who had just put down the watering can. He turned around so quickly that he almost knocked it over. He had probably been so focused on his task that he didn't even notice how Jongdae approached him. But when he saw him he smiled.

"I actually don't really care for flowers all that much, but someone has to do it", Junmyeon explained. He told Jongdae that their school used to have a gardening club last year but that it got terminated because they didn't get enough new members. And now only the flowers were left. Jongdae nodded. At this school joining a club wasn't really mandatory but students were highly advised to do so which meant that it was mandatory the school administration just didn't like calling it that. Most people joined some sort of sports team. Jongdae had settled for the school choir, which was also surprisingly full. At his old school, the choir was made up of mostly girls so he didn't expect to find a lot of choir enthusiast at an all-boys school. A lot of the smaller clubs were struggling to find new members. The gardening club must have been one of them.

"So you get up early every morning just to water these?", Jongdae asked curiously. He tried to play it down but at that moment he admired Junmyeon so much. He admired how he did this stupid little thing even though he didn't have to. He admired how Junmyeon took on this unthankful task voluntary just because he knew no one else would do it. At that moment Jongdae felt nothing but adoration Junmyeon who just shrugged off this amazing thing he did like it was nothing. And again Jongdae wished he could just kiss him.

"Not really every day, it's enough to water them maybe two or three times a week, even fewer when it rains a lot and it doesn't really take long either way", he explained giving Jongdae one of the softest smiles he had ever seen.

After that Jongdae made it a habit to get up earlier to help with watering the flowers.

***

It took Jongdae almost a month to completely figure out when Junmyeon was there in the early mornings to water the plants. He was always there on Monday, except when it had rained on the weekend and when it didn't rain that week he would also be there on Wednesday and Friday. When it rained things got a little more complicated but generally Junmyeon made sure that the plants got water almost every second day, weekends being the only exception.

Jongdae didn't always join him, but when he did Junmyeon and he always talked for a bit. It was an unlikely friendship at first, but they got along. And Jongdae quickly discovered that there was a lot more to Junmyeon than the borning student council member who reminded other students not to run in the halls. Junmyeon made terrible jokes that Jongdae never laughed about because he thought they were weird, had a small collection of comics and manga that he told Jongdae about and apparently he liked funk rock music. Somehow Junmyeon was actually just as much of a dork as Jongdae was. But maybe just a more polite, smarter dork than Jongdae. Also, a dork that cared about others like he cared about these stupid flowers. Even though he liked pretending that it wasn't much that he did. Junmyeon never asked for praise or recognition. He just worked knowing that it would make things easier for everyone else, no matter if they thanked him or not. Jongdae admired him so much it was unreal. He could never have the patience and determination to get up early every morning just to water some flowers that no one really cared about either way.

He never expected that one day he would be there early in the morning alone. It was Monday morning and Jongdae had gotten up as early as he could because it hadn't rained for days so he was sure that Junmyeon would be there to water the plants. But he wasn't. Jongdae waited for a couple of minutes before he decided that Junmyeon wasn't coming. Maybe he had gotten sick or something. Jongdae could have just forgotten about the damn flowers, after all, he only got up early to spend time with Junmyeon, but now that he was here already he thought that he might as well do it. Junmyeon had shown him the old shack that used to belong to the gardening club and that was now more of a storage room. Next to a couple of old, rusty garden hoes, a tripped over bag over potting soil that no one ever bothered cleaning up and a couple of other old tools there was also a big metal watering can that Jongdae now picked up and filled at one of the sillcocks next to the shack.

Someone just had to do it right?

When Jongdae arrived at the flower beds next to the gate again Junmyeon was standing there, leaned against the face, a soft smile plastered on his face.

"Do you like flowers?", he asked, almost casually, as if he just happened to be walking by. Jongdae sat the watering can on the ground and smiled back.

"Not really, but someone just has to do it right?"

Junmyeon chuckled for a bit, before he looked at Jongdae again, with a serious look on his face.

"Thank you, Jongdae", he said. Jongdae shrugged, trying his best to play it down.

"It's nothing", he replied.

God, he wanted to kiss him so bad.

***

It was a school Saturday. Jongdae always hated having to go to school on Saturdays but that time he was almost excited about it. The last time he watered the flowers together with Junmyeon he asked him if he would be interested in hanging out sometime. And much to Jongdae's surprise Junmyeon had actually agreed.

Jongdae would have to wait for him though because there was a student council meeting in the afternoon after class ended. Jongdae didn't mind at all. He just hung around in the hallway, looking out one of the giant windows and watched how late afternoon turned into early evening. The sky had turned a greyish dark blue by the time Junmyeon finally left the student council room. When he saw Jongdae leaned against the wall he waved before making his way down the hall in hurried steps. A part of Jongdae felt very compelled to remind Junmyeon that running in the hallway was still not permitted but most of Jongdae's mind was occupied with the thought that the smile on Junmyeon's lips as he walked towards him was probably one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. And he thought about how much this felt like a date. Almost as if Junmyeon was his boyfriend and he had been waiting for him and he would greet him with a kiss and then they would walk out of the school together holding hands to enjoy a date night.

"Hey, you alright?", Junmyeon asked, from the look on his face he had probably already said something before that Jongdae had not paid attention to.

"Yeah, I just spaced out a little", he replied, quickly stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants.

"Come on, let's go."

 

Jongdae didn't really make a plan where he wanted to go with Junmyeon so after they left the school they just aimlessly strolled through the streets. Hands stuffed into their pockets they walked next to each other. For most of the time they talked about school-related stuff, or music they were into lately, TV shows that they had watched in that bit of free time they had. Everything that came to their minds basically.

"So, do you want to get something to eat maybe?", Jongdae suggested after they had walked around for maybe ten minutes. Junmyeon shrugged.

"Sure, why not. Do you know anything around here?"

Jongdae didn't know anything but he nodded anyway, proceeding to lead the way. Ther was bound to be some street food stall or small restaurant where they could get something to go somewhere around here. Junmyeon followed him even though he could probably tell from the way Jongdae looked around himself, that he had no idea where he was leading them. Still, Jongdae was determined that he would find something. And he did.

"Hey, how about this one?", he asked, pointing at the small café he had spotted at the corner of the road. Junmyeon followed Jongdae's gesture with his eyes to read the small sign that was propped up in front of the store.

_Coffee ~ Pastries ~ Sweets ~ Ice Cream_

"Sure, sounds good", Junmyeon replied with a smile. Together they entered the small café, it had a somewhat Japanese air to it, a collection of colourful rice cakes were on display alongside other pastries and almost every fifth item on the menu that hung above the counter was either green tea flavoured or came with sweet red bean paste, in some cases both.

"They even have green tea and sweet bean flavoured ice cream", Jongdae noted, half in disgust and half actually surprised.

"Green tea ice isn't half that bad", Junmyeon replied with a shrug and Jongdae watched in awe how he went to order himself a cone of it.

They left the store each with an ice cream cone in their hand, green tea for Junmyeon and plain vanilla for Jongdae. Junmyeon had tried to make him get the bean paste one but Jongdae had declined. Now they were walking through the streets without a clear goal again. Still making small talk in between eating their ice cream.

"I can't believe you actually like this stuff, green tea is so damn bitter", Jongdae whined after a while. Junmyeon shrugged.

"This one is actually rather sweet"

Jongdae raised his eyebrows, an evil grin spreading on his face.

"Let me try, let me try", he started pleading, giving Junmyeon his best puppy eyes. He meant it as a joke so when Junmyeon actually stretched out the hand he was holding the cone with Jongdae was taken aback for a moment. Junmyeon's lips had melted a mold into the soft ice cream that Jongdae stared at. Junmyeon slowly raised an eyebrow as he looked at Jongdae. He knew that he was probably acting awkward so instead of thinking about it anymore he just tilted his head forward and took a bite of the ice cream. Pressing his lips into the mold that Junmyeon's lips had formed.

It really tasted sweet but also bitter. The way only an indirect kiss could taste. Oh, how he wished it could have been a real one.

 

The sun had already set when they finally parted ways. Surprisingly they lived in the same neighbourhood. Actually, Jongdae wasn't that surprised. At least now he had a realistic explanation why they also ran into each other out of school all the time. Jongdae walked with Junmyeon until they reached a crossroad where they would part ways.

"We should totally do this again", Jongdae exclaimed happily. Junmyeon smiled back at him.

"Yeah, we should", he replied. For the second time that day Jongdae almost forgot that they were not on a real date. That he could not cup Junmyeon's face in his hand and kiss those beautiful lips goodbye before wishing him a good night.

"So, see you at school", Junmyeon muttered, in an instant breaking the spell. If there had ever been some sort of romantic tension in the air it was now long gone. Probably Jongdae had been imagining it from the start.

"Yeah, see you", he weakly replied. Junmyeon gave him another small smile and a nod before he turned around and walked down the road. Jongdae stood at the crossroad and stared at his disappearing silhouette while he wondered if this strange feeling would ever go away.

***

With time passing Jongdae got more and more used to spending time with Junmyeon. And he also accepted that maybe this was more than one of his silly crushes. Maybe the feeling would go away and maybe there would always be moments where he would look at Junmyeon and wanted to kiss him. But Jongdae had learned to accept that. He just had to learn to accept it because every time he thought that maybe his heart would stop fluttering whenever he laid eyes on Junmyeon, Junmyeon found a new way to be either adorable or just lovable in any way imaginable.

And sometimes he was just hot.

The school sports festival fell into the last category. Jongdae didn't really understand why their school even needed a sports festival in the first place. Especially when they wanted to hold it at the end of the school year when it was cold outside and they had to all squeeze into the tiny gym to do relay races and tug of war. Jongdae immediately stopped complaining he spotted Junmyeon in a group of second-year students. And after that Jongdae didn't stop staring at him the entire day. But Junmyeon was basically begging to be stared at. He exposed his abs that Jongdae didn't even know he had, so when he first saw them he almost choked on the water he was trying to drink at that moment. And to make the ultimate bad timing even better Junmyeon made eye-contact with Jongdae in just that second and waved at him with an innocent smile. As innocent as the smile of a gorgeous shirtless boy can ever be.

He also apparently deemed it necessary to prove that he was able to do push-ups on just his thumbs. Something that Jongdae considered just straight up rude. Even ruder was the way Junmyeon smirked at his friends after he was done. A smirk that wasn't even aimed at Jongdae but that he still felt personally offended by.

How could one human alone even be as gorgeous as Junmyeon? One of the first thing that Jongdae had learned about school is that people were either smart or athletic, or in his case neither, but never both. Apparently, no one ever told Junmyeon about that rule. He was blessed with perfection. It was almost unfair. But that only made Jongdae want to kiss him even more. Maybe even more than kissing but those thoughts only came occasionally and most of the time the desire to just kiss every bit of exposed skin on Junmyeon's body overweight. It was truly unfair.

***

The first school year had ended a lot quicker than Jongdae had expected. Looking back time always seemed to pass faster than when you were actually sitting in a stuffy classroom waiting for the lesson to end. But with the end of the school year came vacation. Well, those few weeks of vacation that they got. Things had gotten a lot tougher in high school and Jongdae feared that it would only get worse with every passing year from now on. He was already falling behind a little in math. Maybe some other subjects as well, but mostly math.

Lucky for him Junmyeon decided to tutor him during vacation. At least that is what they had planned and for maybe half an hour it actually somewhat worked out. But somehow one thing led to another and in the end, they ended up on Jongdae's bed watching an anime series on his laptop. They told themselves that it would be just one episode and then they would be back to learning math but in the end, one episode almost turned into an entire season. They only noticed how time had passed when Jongdae's mother knocked on the door, asking if his friend was staying over for dinner.

Jongdae rolled to the side to ask Junmyeok again and only then he realised how close to each other they were. He had almost bumped his nose against Junmyeon's when he had turned his head and for a moment both of them froze in that position, just staring at each other. The gap between there lips was as small as never before but still, it was insuperable. Jongdae awkwardly shuffled back until he almost hit the wall.

"So, do you want to stay for dinner?", he repeated his mother's question, he tried his best to avoid Junmyeon's eyes, yet not make it too obvious that he was flustered. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jongdae saw Junmyeon shake his head. He muttered something about already having told his mother that he would be home for dinner but maybe next time. Jongdae hated to admit that part of him was relieved about it.

***

Even when the next school year started Junmyeon had not given up on teaching Jongdae math. Jongdae was not sure whether Junmyeon just had more patience than any real human could possibly have or if he was just insane to be putting up with Jongdae like that. No matter what it was they kept meeting up to do math together. Sometimes they just stayed a little longer at school, walking home together afterward. And sometimes Junmyeon came over to Jongdae's place.

Jongdae's mother seemed to be quite fond of him and she used every chance she got to tell Jongdae that he should be a little more like Junmyeon. It was almost ridiculous how she swooned over what a well mannered young man it was. But maybe it was just a genetic thing. Because no matter how often Jongdae whined about his mother liking Junmyeon that much he had to admit that secretly he agreed with every word she said.

Junmyeon also started staying over for dinner frequently and he quickly had Jongdae's entire family wrapped around his finger with terrible jokes that everyone but Jongdae laughed at. And while all of that was nice nothing of it really helped Jongdae with his math problems. Then again he could probably give up on Junmyeon teaching him math altogether. It wasn't Junmyeon's fault but Jongdae just couldn't follow him at all. Because every time Junmyeon leaned over Jongdae's shoulder to point at something in his math book Jongdae's thoughts would trail off while he breathed in Junmyeon's scent. And when Junmyeon looked down at Jongdae with annoyance in his eyes Jongdae would only stare at his lips and think of all the things he would do much rather than studying.

***

Things got better after a while. Maybe Jongdae got used to Junmyeon's presence and maybe the pressure of actually having to understand this math stuff better sooner than later forced him to actually focus on his homework. But no matter what it was he started spacing out way less. Which was a good thing.

Sometimes it still happened. Sometimes Jongdae still got caught up in daydreams about burying his hands in Junmyeon's beautiful black hair and pressing their lips together. But it happened less. Which was also a good thing. Because with every week that passed, Jongdae realised more that this was already Junmyeon's last school year. And after that, they would part ways. And Jongdae had to be prepared for that. He would be okay.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?", Junmyeon asked, giving him a gentle shove against the shoulder to shake him awake.

"Nothing", Jongdae muttered quickly. Junmyeon laughed.

"Of course, you never think about anything, your head must be completely empty", he joked.

"Hey, not fair", Jongdae whined, which only made Junmyeon laugh more. Once he stopped laughing he looked at Jongdae, mimicking his pout as he repeated Jongdae's words, trying his best to imitate Jongdae's whining. Jongdae crossed his arms in front of his chest, only pouting even more which made Junmyeon crack up even harder than before. And Jongdae wanted to be mad, but Junmyeon's laugh was just too beautiful to hate him right now.

No, Jongdae would not be okay.

***

On a Saturday evening in the middle of the school year, Jongdae first noticed how exhausting math tutoring must have really been for Junmyeon. Jongdae had never really thought about it before he caught Junmyeon dozing off that one time. He never fully realised that Junmyeon also had his own studying to do. After all he was in his final year. And he was also still on the student council. Actually, he had become vice-president this year. Jongdae knew that Junmyeon could have probably also taken on the position of president. He had this natural authority to him and Jongdae felt like he would be a good leader. But all of this, of course, took a toll on him that Jongdae never really considered.

He didn't even notice how Junmyeon fell asleep at first. Jongdae had set on his desk working on a math exercise and Junmyeon was on Jongdae's bed, watching him. Or at least that was what Jongdae had thought until he turned around and saw Junmyeon with his eyes closed, back leaning against the wall. His mouth hung slightly open, his lips were softly parted and his chest rose and fell in the calm rhythm of his deep breaths.

The thought that Jongdae could just get up and kiss him crossed his mind. Junmyeon would probably never know. He wouldn't even notice. And Jongdae would finally know if these lips felt as soft as they looked.

But he didn't. He didn't want their first kiss to happen like that. Even if that meant it would never happen at all.

***

"I thought we were heading to your place to study?", Junmyeon asked when Jongdae led him down the road that led into the city, the opposite direction of where Jongdae lived. It was already late in the evening and Junmyeon had just come from a student council meeting.

"And I thought you could need a bit of a break", Jongdae explained. This time he knew the way he was leading. Junmyeon followed curiously but without saying anything.

"Remember that ice cream place we discovered the first time we hung out?", Jongdae asked, not even waiting for an answer before he continued speaking. "I'm taking you there as a thank you for the tutoring and everything, you can have as much of that damn green tea flavoured ice cream as you want to, my treat."

"Don't regret that later, you might end up poor", Junmyeon said with a chuckle. Jongdae didn't bother replying anything he just turned around to smile at Junmyeon who was already smiling at him.

Both of their smiles disappeared when they reached that street where the café was. In its spot was now an optician that Jongdae stared at in disbelief.

"I swear that this was the right spot", he mumbled, more to himself than to Junmyeon who was looking up and down the road.

"Maybe they shut down", Junmyeon suggested after a moment of silence and Jongdae knew that he was probably right.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know", he finally admitted. Junmyeon smiled at him. And suddenly he was the one cheering Jongdae up again. Even though the entire point of this little trip was for Jongdae to do something nice for Junmyeon.

"Hey, it's okay. It was still a nice thought", Junmyeon said, still smiling. Jongdae tried his best to smile back the way he usually would. But to him, it wasn't okay. He really wanted to give something to Junmyeon. Wanted to somehow show him how grateful it was. He just wanted to give something back.

But the thing he most wanted to give Junmyeon right now was probably not one that he would have wanted.

***

"I won't be able to teach you anymore, I have to fully focus on my own exams now", Junmyeon announced not even a week after their spontaneous little date. His voice sounded like he felt guilty about it and Jongdae didn't like that sound at all.

"It's okay, I think I have this math stuff figured out, you were a great teacher", Jongdae said. Trying to sound carefree and cheerful. Junmyeon wasn't buying it.

"Sure?" he asked and "Sure!" Jongdae replied even though he knew that he didn't have math figured out the least bit. Junmyeon probably knew as well, but he said nothing about it. But he did say something else. Something that Jongdae did not expect.

"I'm going to miss hanging out with you."

Yeah, Jongdae was going to miss him too.

***

Even though their tutoring session ended after that they still saw each other regularly. At school but also practically everywhere else. By then Jongdae had accepted that maybe it was destiny and maybe destiny just really hated him.

They also still watered the flowers together.

"Who do you think will take care of them next year?", Junmyeon asked one Monday morning, he looked as sleepy as Jongdae felt and yet Jongdae didn't miss a beat with his answer.

"I will", he declared. Junmyeon looked up from the flower bed that he had just given some water to and gave Jongdae a surprised glance.

"You know that you don't have to do it right?", he asked. Jongdae shrugged, while he used his fingers to carefully check if the soil around the plants was really watered well enough everywhere.

"You didn't have to do it either. Besides, someone just has to do it, right?"

Junmyeon put down his watering can and placed a hand on Jongdae's shoulder to get his full attention. Jongdae looked up to meet his eyes. Junmyeon had this wonderful soft smile on his face again and Jongdae was so distracted by it that he almost didn't hear his next words. But he could have read the  _Thank you_ from Junmyeon's lips even if he had been deaf.

***

It was a Wednesday when Junmyeon texted Jongdae and asked him if he wanted to go out and celebrate on the weekend after all the exams were over. Jongdae, of course, immediately replied with a yes accompanied by almost a dozen exclamation marks. And while he was really looking forward to spending some time with Junmyeon again it also made him sad. Because with every passing day the end of the year was coming a bit closer and Jongdae knew that he would soon have to say goodbye to the boy he had been in love with for almost two years now.

Jongdae never really thought much about his feelings for Junmyeon. He didn't because he knew that it was hopeless. But even without thinking too much Jongdae knew that he was in love. How wouldn't he be?

The weekend after the exams came around way too soon and yet not soon enough. They went out for Karaoke, something that Jongdae had suggested and Junmyeon had happily accepted. Jongdae had always liked singing, after all, he did not join that school choir for nothing and Junmyeon was also quite good at it. But they didn't do it for the competition. They did it for the fun. Because having fun together was the best way to say goodbye. At least Jongdae had always thought so and judging from the way Junmyeon smiled throughout the entire evening he seemed to agree with that.

Still Jongdae wished that the reason they met up would have been a different one. He didn't want their time spent together end there. This could have been a beginning instead. A beginning of something more than just friendship. Jongdae had told himself that multiple times. If he would just man up and confess or even better just straight up kiss Junmyeon they could maybe be more than that. Sometimes Jongdae felt like the attraction was mutual. Sometimes he thought that they could really have a relationship. That all of this was meant to be.

But inside he knew that this was not the beginning. This was the end.

***

The school choir always performed at the end of the year ceremony. Singing a last song for the departing third years to send them off. Usually, something traditional and boring that no one really liked but in the end, someone always ended up crying. Not because of the song or the choir or anything but because of the feeling of departing. Last year Jongdae had rolled his eyes at the girls in the audience that hugged each other while sobbing loudly. This year he felt like he might be the one to start crying.

During the choir performance his eyes kept searching the crowd for Junmyeon and once he finally found him he kept looking at him until the choir went off the stage again. Jongdae made sure that Junmyeon knew that he was just singing for him. He tried to tell him everything that he had never been able to say out loud through intense eye contact. Maybe Junmyeon understood and maybe he didn't. It probably wouldn't change much either way.

After the ceremony was over they hugged. They had hugged a couple of times before, the kind of short friendly hugs that turned into awkward back patting when they lasted a little longer than normal. This hug was no different.

Jongdae congratulated Junmyeon on his graduation and Junmyeon told Jongdae that he had enjoyed the choir performance and that he clearly heard Jongdae's voice out of all the others. Empty words. In the end that was all, they had left for each other.

Jongdae wanted for there to be more. Maybe Junmyeon wanted it too. But neither of them dared to take the step. Maybe it was too late already to do anything either way.

***

They last saw each other the day they parted ways. Junmyeon would move to attend a university in Seoul and Jongdae would stay behind to finish high school here. Of course, they made promises to visit each other and stay in contact and everything but Jongdae had this feeling that it wouldn't happen. Because maybe, after all, it just wasn't meant to be. Probably it had been stupid to even think that in the first place.

They hugged once more on the day they said goodbye. That hug had been different from all the others before. Longer, tighter, more loving. It was the kind of hug that people only pulled back from a little, arms still wrapped around the other person as they lovingly gazed into each other's eyes before they brought their lips together for a kiss. Or rather, it could have been that kind of hug. Maybe Junmyeon wanted for it to be that. Jongdae, however, didn't. He had spent almost two years wasting all his good chances, he might as well let this last one pass. It would have been ridiculous to kiss Junmyeon after all this time. Jongdae should have kissed him so much earlier, maybe he should have already kissed him when he first saw him in that hallway. Or when they started watering the flowers together. At the very least Jongdae should have kissed him that time they went on a date even though neither of them dared to call it that back then.

He shouldn't kiss him when they were about to part ways. He shouldn't make their first kiss a farewell kiss. He shouldn't kiss him now that it would only make things complicated.

So Jongdae let that last chance slip through his hands, telling himself that it was better that way.

He really should have kissed Junmyeon so much earlier.


	2. The chance we took

It was only Jongdae's second week at university and he was already running late for one of his lectures. Running was in this sense to be taken literally because Jongdae was really running through the halls of the building. But that was okay. At university things loosened up a little yet got tougher at the same time. But at least running in the halls was permitted, even if frowned upon by some instructors. But sometimes Jongdae felt that no matter what he did was frowned upon by the instructors. He just couldn't help causing trouble one way or another.

"Hey, no running in the halls", a voice suddenly called out to him. In surprise, Jongdae turned his head to look for the source of the voice because this whole scenario felt so familiar and to make the deja-vu moment perfect he stumbled in exactly this moment. Landing on his hands and knees on the floor. He could hear someone rush to him, probably the person that had just called out to him and caused his fall and Jongdae couldn't stop the smile the spread on his face because he knew what would happen next.

"Are you okay?", Junmyeon asked him, looking down at him with worried eyes reaching out a hand to help Jongdae up.

"I think I just fell for you all over again", Jongdae replied as he grabbed Junmyeon's hand and got up from the floor, he didn't let go of it right away. Junmyeon snorted but he didn't roll his eyes, he smiled.

"Kim Jongdae, you haven't changed a bit", he commented while he looked Jongdae up and down. Jongdae also took the chance to just stare at Junmyeon for a bit. Junmyeon hadn't changed either. He was still as gorgeous as Jongdae remembered him. If anything he had only become more beautiful in the time that they hadn't seen each other. Which should have been impossible but that word had apparently never existed in Junmyeon's dictionary.

"Do you have time to go somewhere and talk, I feel like we have some catching up to do", Junmyeon suggested after they had just looked at each other for some time without speaking a word. Their hands were still connected and it seemed that neither of them felt compelled to change that anytime soon.

"Sure, I have a free period anyway", Jongdae lied. But it wouldn't do any harm to skip that borning lecture once. Sometimes one just had to skip lectures for the greater good.

 

They walked around campus without a clear destination in mind while they talked. By then they had separated their hands again and now both of them had them stuffed away in their pockets somewhat awkwardly.

"Who's taking care of the flowers now?", Junmyeon asked after some time. Jongdae looked at him in disbelief.

"We haven't seen each other for almost a year and the first thing you ask me about are the stupid flowers?", he asked. He tried to sound offended but he couldn't hold back the laughter. Junmyeon laughed too and for a moment they just looked at each other and smiled like no time had passed since they last saw each other. The moment passed and Junmyeon was probably still waiting for a real answer.

"I watered them throughout my third year, getting up early just for that was a pain in the ass by the way. At the end of the year, I asked the younger students to find someone who will keep doing it. I found some kid who said he would, really hope he does, would be a shame if after all that the flowers would just be forgotten."

Junmyeon looked at Jongdae with a sort of surprised smile.

"I didn't think you would actually do it."

Jongdae shrugged like it was nothing.

"Someone had to, right?", he said and  _I did it for you_ he thought. Junmyeon smiled at him even more.

"I just never thought that someone would really be you", he whispered and for a second it sounded like he was referring to more than just watering flowers. Jongdae hadn't thought about all that destiny nonsense for a while but at that moment the thought just naturally came up again. It wouldn't be a coincidence that they met again like that right? Maybe they had been granted a second chance. Well maybe not a second, considering how many chances Jongdae must have missed already. Maybe destiny didn't hate him after all.

"Can I say something stupid?", Jongdae asked and Junmyeon raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you always do that?", he asked back with a grin. Jongdae could have whined, could have stopped to complain and let this moment pass. He didn't. He was going to take his chance.

"I really missed you", he confessed. Junmyeon stopped to look at Jongdae. First confused then with a soft smile.

"I missed you as well", he said. Jongdae felt like he was going to burst into tears for some reason that he didn't quite understand and at the same time felt like laughing. Junmyeon had always had that effect on him.

"Can I hug you?", Jongdae asked carefully. Instead of a reply Junmyeon just spread his arms.

"Come at me, bro."

Jongdae did as he was told. They hugged like they had hugged when they said goodbye a year ago. That long tight hugged that only lovers or soon to be lovers could share. That kind of hug that people only pulled out of a little so they could kiss each other. And this time Jongdae was really going to make it that hug.

He pulled back a little, his arms still wrapped around Junmyeon's back and looked him in the eyes. They were about the same height, the perfect height to look into each other's eyes and maybe also the perfect height for kissing. Jongdae took a moment to just look at Junmyeon, trying to ask the question with his eyes, waiting for Junmyeon to agree. And in Junmyeon's dark eyes Jongdae saw his own adoration mirrored. Carefully he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Junmyeon.

At first, their lips only brushed against each other, as if to test the waters but after Junmyeon didn't push Jongdae away again he kept kissing him. He kissed him as if he wanted to make up for all the chances he had missed. Jongdae really should have done this so much sooner. And Junmyeon's lips really felt just as soft and perfect as he had imagined. He had been such an idiot to let all those chances pass.

When they both pulled back again they smiled. They still had their arms wrapped around each other and it felt so natural, so perfect, just right.

"So, after all this time?", Junmyeon asked, being the first to break the silence. Jongdae looked to the side a little to avoid Junmyeon's eyes. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to explain himself. Junmyeon carefully placed a hand on Jongdae's cheek and used it to force Jongdae to look at him again. Junmyeon still smiled at him and he looked as beautiful as never before with his cheeks slightly flushed, lips slightly more red and plump from kissing and the softest smile imaginable on his lips.

"I've been waiting for you to do this for two years. I gave you so many chances, you never took them. I was convinced you didn't want to kiss me after all", he muttered while slowly caressing Jongdae's cheek with his thumb.

"I'm sorry", Jongdae replied after a small eternity. "I've spent two years wanting to kiss you and one regretting that I didn't. I'm probably way too late now, but do you still want me?"

Junmyeon chuckled.

"Of course I do you idiot."

They kissed for a second time, a little slower than their first kiss. This time fully taking the time to really get a taste of the kiss. Now that they both knew that there would be enough time to make up for all the kisses they missed out on neither of them felt a need to hurry.

When they separated finally from both the kiss and the hug they laughed. Junmyeon reached his hand out and Jongdae grabbed it without hesitation. They continued walking, hands intertwined, no particular goal in mind.

They had so much catching up to do.


End file.
